ndslotesse's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Not Really Talking Dear Diary, I'm sad and happy for having locked my diary. Sad because no one cared enough to stop me. Sad because I can't influence people anymore with my words. I can't move them the way I did before. Happy because I feel more free to write whatever I choose to write. Happy becaus I don't feel restricted in anyway. Happy because I know I won't make anyone feel my pain with my words from diary any longer. My sister and I are still at school. And I should have started my homework but I haven't. I keep writing in this diary of mine because I have a lot to say now that it's locked. Now that no one else can see it but me. Except if I end up giving someone my password or if someone ends up hacking into my diary, which would be crazy weird because, believe you me, no one cares that much. But I'm not sure if that's going to happen because I really want to be able to write how I am, how I feel, what's going on my life without looking over my shoulder wondering what people are thinking because I wrote something shameful. So, I'm going to stay this way. Regardless if they beg. Which I'm pretty damn sure they aren't going to beg. I don't know how to feel. I'm happy because I have Romeo but sad because I have to leave. And I know that this is what I keep saying but I can't help it because it's constantly what I keep thinking about. It's incredibly hard to think about anything else when this is all I think about. Wow, I'm starting to sound really montonous. I'm worried that I'm not deep anymore. Is this wrong? How could I worry about not being deep? Aren't I? Aren't I deep? Aren't I someone to be proud of me? Someone to look up to or admire? What am I talking about? No one's going to give me feedback on this because I have locked it. Does it seem that I keep talking about locking it up? Maybe it's because I'm not sure if this is what I want, or the right thing to do. I just want to dleep and I can't find my carmex. I know that is probably a really random comment. Sorry. Wait, why am I sorry? Am I saying sorry to myself? Because no one is here but me. This place is just going to be now. No more impressing. No more trying. And if there is trying it'll be for me. But it won't matter if I don't have an AWESOME entry that day because it'll be for me. This is for me now. This diary. Say Good-Bye everyone. Haha, I just remembered that no one can say good bye now because I have already left. With care, 2:31 p.m. - 2003-01-30 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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