ndslotesse's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I'm sorry I can't be perfect Dear Diary, Have you ever felt the summer when its winter time? Because you heard a song or a feeling, or smelled something that reminded you of that summer, that time, whichever. It hurts to get nostalgic. It hurts to feel like you can never go back after you've left something behind or when you know that something could have been fixed but wasn't. If you are in a relationship and you think need things need to be fixed does it imply the good rule that things can always get better, or that there are broken aspects of the relationship? Is this determined by whether or not the person who is analzying this an optimist? Is it that there should only be one way, and one way only. That it is either going for the better or going to remain broken. I don't know what I am getting at. It's sort of late and I had so many things to say but I don't know how to start. And even if I tried I wouldn't be able to finish. That's what my mind does to me, I guess. Screws me over. Sometimes I've wished for nochalance. I wished that I wouldn't feel a thing when something went wrong with something that I loved. That way I wouldn't care whether or not it was fucked up or not, whether or not it was broken or just needed improvement. 'Cause we lost it all, Then having this nonchalance after you wished for it, would that make your love any less weak? ...wouldn't it make *you* weak? Having this nonchalance wouldn't it change the way you felt about the person? Would'nt you not love them the same? Would it still be love?... I'm sorry I can't be perfect. FOr if I were I wouldn't need to wish for nonchalance to improve my relationships. Or maybe if I were in love I wouldn't need nonchalance to make it better because it would be...perfect. With care, 11:55 p.m. - 2003-01-02 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||
|
||||||