ndslotesse's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My Fault. Your pain is my pain. Dear Diary, It's sort of silly to look at the world through the eyes of a child because all it is doing is screaming some sort of warning of a premonition of a nightmare. I am alone and the only voice I can hear is the voice that seems to scream my name in tears. Yelling at me, because I wasn't there. Because I was never there. They are blaming me for all their anguish and I just don't know what to say because then at that moment, their pain becomes my pain. And suddenly I'm overwhelmed with some undescribable guilt that explodes in my conscious. I hurt them. I made them cry. I did it all. The pain that this world is experiencing was the cause of something I did. I am ultimatly the reason why this world hates and dies. I corrupted it. I am the end result of my own hate for this world. I hate this world. Every part of me can't find love for it, can find no sympathy, just constant hunger for something else, that doesn't exist. Their pain is my pain now. What runs through their mind, their thoughts, are my thoughts now. Their bleeding is my bleeding. Their dying is my dying... I live like this now. I see no other way. I must take care of my actions. I must understand that now this is my responsibity. The world pain is my pain, is my fault, is my hate. I could do nothing to escape this fate. This is the way things are. You cannot change them. Their throat is slit by an angry hand, and the pain surges through my esophagus. Their body is brutally raped in a fit of lust, and I can feel the pain of my virginity dissapearing. Their heart breaks from their first love walking out on them in a fit of rage, and I can feel the memories of my first love sleeping with another, like a heart-wrenching romeo & juliet picture book, the pages flipping back and forth to my horror, and the heartbreak is unbearable. I hurt because they hurt. I cry because they cry. And at the end. Enfin, I die because they die. With care, 9:37 p.m. - 2002-12-16 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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