ndslotesse's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I just want to die Dear Diary, I have so many thouhts swarming around in my head. And they have all become a masterful portrait of blurred images and thoughts. They are all the same yet completeley different I just want to die. There is no place for me in this world no matter how hard I try. No matter where I look , I swear, it's all the fuckin' same. I just want to die. Do nothing die in my own weariness. I care not for this world that never loved me. I feel so alone in this world that never had a need of me. With breath it took, it made a promise, and each promise has been broken. Where's the faith in that? I just want to die. I just want to die. My hands are shaking as I look down at my hads to type. They are speaking words, telling story, and all I can think about is dying. I find no purpose in this world. I just want to lie down and never wake up. My tears are burning hole in my cheeks. And the hysteria occring in my body and mind have declared war agaist this world, that possesses no compassion for the poor. I am not what I seem nor have I ever been. Fuck this entry 'cause speaks no word of love for me. It's not right. It has never been. It never will be right. I am going insane, no matter how hard I try to push it away. It's all the same. Every single part of it is cryin out my name. And I have become selfish to the point where I will not care if this world dies a thousand deaths, and for each death, I laugh hysterically for each drop of blood that touches the hem of my garment. The golden axe that slaughterd it has become a play thing for me. I hate this world and all the people in it. With care, P.s I do not need happy songs, because there's no pioint in my being happy. It's al going down hill anyway. 9:58 a.m. - 2002-12-07 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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