ndslotesse's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What *are* you doing?!? Dear Diary, What am I doing? Am I going crazy? You were everything that I wanted. But I just can't finish what I started. There's no room left here on my back, it was damaged long ago. Though you swear you are true, I still pick my friends over you!" What am I doing? I spent all this time trying to get my internet to work just so I could muster up the strength to say something worth saying to him. And now, for a brief moment (which rarely happens) he was on (so late at night) which he never is. Was it a sign? Or did I hullicinate just then? Why couldn't I just say what I've been rehearsing so often that it leaks out of my head every five minutes. Why can't I just?!?!?!? AH! Is this diary even worth reading or continuing? Is this moment worht living? Or am I hullicinating again? Am I wake? I think I'm sleeping. I think I'm dreaming. I'm having some dreary nightmare-ish moment, of regret. WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING?!? Just get over the fuckin' bastard! He is so not worth your time. It's not going to work out. It never will, because you are going to grow up and become some old hag that sleeps on park benches and begs for money...wait, no love. Beg for love. Because you were some stupid novice idiot that thought understood everything,SOPHMORIC idealist, but got shut down as soon as you saw something great, fuck this world. You stupid bitch as ho, who can't...wait, *WON'T* let yourself fall in love with something real. Everythings not a faerytale, but go for it anyway! Live it up. Don't let yourself die so young, May. Your not gonna be happy forever but for that damn fuckin' brief moment, live it up. Embrace it for all it's worth. Dont let life pass you by and all your life your going to regret that this world was just never good enough for you. And that all the stars couldn't keep up with your wishes. And the damn sun never shone it's brightest when you were awake. And the moon was always sleeping before you even sung it a lullaby. So let it sleep! Don't wake it up. Stop messin' with it. Embrace it. With care, 10:33 p.m. - 2002-06-27 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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