ndslotesse's Diaryland Diary

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nightmare II

Dear Diary,

I'm scared to lose,
I'm scared to die,
But most of all I'm scared to cry,
And here is where I'll tell you why...

Is it just a wives tale or some old myth that dreams are a source of predicting the future? And if it is, could someone please tell me? Are dreams the other side of reality, like a mirror, is the place where we hold our deepest desires and most forbidden thoughts? And if it is, can someone wake me from my horror-ish dream, a nightmare some would say.

Again this morning, I woke up crying like I did that one morning weeks before. And it seems that this dream has a bit of revelance to the dream I dreamt many nights ago.

It was about my family.

My family was breaking up because my mother fell in love with another man. A younger man. A movie star, actually, the man from the first "Planet of the Apes". I fought with my mom and told her if she even realized what she was giving up. If she realized that she'd be missed and then I went into hysterics. I started ripping the carpet from my stairs and screaming and screaming at her. My entire family seems so hurt but unmoved they just looked away with tears in their eyes and I was the only one screaming at the world. I was so angry, I was crying and jumping, throwing myself all over the place. I could feel the emptiness slowly creep into my heart and the only place I could go wasn't the place I wanted to be. So, I stayed in my living room, picking things up and throwing them on the floor so she could realize what she was doing was a mistake...that she was corrupting and breaking the *entire* family, especially me.

I cried my heart out in that dream and I could feel real tears sliding down my cheek. I woke up with my heart *seriously* aching. I could feel a tightness in the way I breathed and the way my lungs felt. The tears were leaking from my eyes and I couldn't do anything to stop them.

I'm so scared.

With care,
Mayms

12:15 p.m. - 2002-06-11

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

previous - next

latest entry

about me

archives

notes

DiaryLand

contact

random entry

A LONG TIME AGO

2002

March

April

May

June

July

August

September

November

December

2003

January