ndslotesse's Diaryland Diary

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Why?

Dear Diary,

Wake me up, I think I'm dreaming. Everythings going great, so great it almost feels perfect. There's something wrong with that, I don't want this feeling. Today has been fabulous. I got to see my family (relatives) at a Birthday Party for my baby cousin who turned One.

I love my family.

There's lots of things that phase me but I don't let them. I have all these things I shouldn't be worrying about but I am. I have all this happiness practically given to me on a silver platter and I'm turning it away. I can barely breathe.

It was so hot today, I wish'd rain.

Why am I so afraid? What the fuck is in me, that makes me so reluctant? Why am I running from it? Why can't I just accept that things are great for me and instead of trying to look for all the wrong things in my life.

He's so right for me.

Why can't I just love? Why can't I look at the world through rose-tinted glasses. Why can't I be happy? Why am I asking myself these questions? Why am I like this, in the first place?

Why can't I breath?

With care,
Mayms

12:00 a.m. - 2002-06-03

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