ndslotesse's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Confused Entry, Once more. Wait for me. Dear Diary, ...I'm afraid of commitment and of getting hurt. I need reassurance all the time, probably due to the fact that I get none at all. is it so horrible that I put limits on love? Is it so horrible that I'm afraid? I am really starting to fall for Scott. He's so...intentive. He picks up on every detail I say. He's always twisting my words, though. But, he picks up everything that I say. EVERYTHING. That's what intrigues me about him so much. He's not like anyone I've ever met so far in my life. He says I always contradict myself! (which is the truth!) He's all that I'm looking for and more. So why can't I bring myself to like him? To want him? I know that I care for him...but why can't I go for it? What's holding me back? Geeze! I have so many thoughts in my head right now. I can't sort them, it makes me a bad writer. I'm sorry We talked for an hour early today and then I just got off the phone w/ him about 15 minutes ago and we had talked for two hours consecutively. I'm afraid...he knows who I am. I'm afraid he can peel all the layers that I worked so hard to create. I'm afraid he actually has the key to unlock the cold and rusty heart of mine. I don't want to tell him that, but I was hinting at it. He knows that I like him, a lot. Obviously. He says al the right things...I don't like that. It makes me feel uncomfortable, to have someone be that poweful before me. I have so much to say, but I think I will get off now. And try to sort out my thoughts so my entries will be better to read. I don't want to fall for him... With care, P.s ...it hasn't been like this for a while. 12:21 a.m. - 2002-05-25 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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