ndslotesse's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Desperation For Life Dear Diary, Thoughts of sorrow creep beside my pillow as I try to find the comfort to sleep. I walk an endless highway to now where, with nothing. Cold hands of dreadfull minds grasp my neck and I'm am unable to move. I can't break free. Nothing but constant sorrow plaguing my mind and my body. So here I am pawing at my own flesh dying to get free of my own body, that's holding me captive. I feel so isolated and so imprisioned in my own body that I find it difficult to breathe...like after you get hit by a car and the tire wheel is on your chest, you can feel the heavy weight slowly crushing your rib cage which holds your lungs captive, there's a white light of disillusionment in your eyes, and the corners of you crazy lips stretch from one side of your face to the other, and all the while you think...yes. You think yes because all you want to do now is get free, free from it all. All the pain that poisions your mind, and all the bruises that are so evident scattered on your aching body. So, why live? So, why complain? Why hold dear to anything that misleads and misgives you? They don't love you and they never will. They have your emotions on a leash, training you to became a pawn for them. Someone to make them happy and keep them alive. And all the while your screaming and smiling because you've lost the sanity that you thought you had. Closing your fist and feeling the warm trickle of blood flow down your wrist and the flesh underneath your nails. So where do you go? When you have no sanctuary. The place you thought was home is only a mere mirage, a figment of your imagination. Because it holds all the hate that flowed through your veins as you held your tongue, not to get slapped. So your lost and alone? Does it matter? You are born and you die, does it matter what happens inbetween? With care, 3:24 p.m. - 2002-04-23 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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