ndslotesse's Diaryland Diary

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Not going out? AGAIN!?

Dear Diary,

Yesterday as I was cleaning up my room. I came across a few of my photo albums. Talk about walking down memory lane!

A young picture of me! Heh, it's great. Me and my little hat. I enjoy looking at it. IT makes me feel young again.

LOL, me talking about being young! I am young! Well, only compared to some.

It's just that sometimes I feel so old at times, it hard to remember that I am only 14. People who think too often, for their own, often feel a little old. And I? I feel like an old grandma, I should be sitting on a rocking chair outside on my porch petting my dog, erm, cat. Haha, that's a stereotype. I'm sorry.

I want to feel young, I don't want life to pass me by, as it does to some people. I want to enjoy the remainder of my adolesence, before it completely passes me by. I feel like I'm not enjoying it...when people my age are out having parties and getting drunk, I'm at home typing on this damned computer, writing entries and trying to learn HTML.

I have no life.

But, I have myself to blame for that one. I *choose* not to go out and party and drink on the weekends. Hell yeah, it sounds like fun. But, I'm not like that anymore. I find it all so exciting and yet so boring all at the same time. People getting drunk rubbing against each other and smoking pot.

I really don't mind, sometimes I hit myself across the head when I turn some of my friends down when they ask me to go out w/ them. But, then I think to myself "Will I have fun?" the answer is usually no. I think, no...I *know* it's because I'm not ready. I want to just be around people who love me, instead of being around 100 people I've never met, and some guy feeling me up, thinking he can get some...please. Whatever.

I know, I know...it's not healthy to stay indoors all the time. But, when I'm ready, I might just step out of that door.

...but, in the mean time...I'll sit, type in this block of white, and talk to you fine people.

With, care
Mayms

P.S The picture is just a bit blurry, but you get the idea.

P.S.S Big Suprise! Yeah, I'm asian. Asian Pride, and I'm proud of it. I'm proud of my ethnicity. But...that's a different story. Too long of an entry to keep on rambling...or is it? erm, heh, just joking! nevermind.

6:21 p.m. - 2002-04-17

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