ndslotesse's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Blank Dear Diary, I'm content for the moment, but who knows next what emotion will be corsing <-- typo through my veins? I don't seem to be as angry as I usually am. Today, I was actually being hyper, loud, silly...ther person I was years back. It was soo good to feel that way, even if it were a brief moment. But, I find it uncanny and ironic that when I'm finally the person I want to be, no one's happy. Geeze, that's kinda sad. It makes me feel a little alone.I'm not feeling anything specific today. I have nothing to complain about. But, here I am trying to find a reason to be unhappy. I'm so screwed up. Am I depressed? I hope not. I wasn't born to be depressed, I was born to be me. I was born to live like everyone else, and yet not so. To be someone completely different and yet blend in all a the same time. I want so much in this world, that it makes me feel guilty that I would even consider wanting so much, when their are millions of children...people out there, in a much worse condition than I. I feel so guilty. For anyone that's reading this, I'm sorry that I'm so selfish, and that I'm not the type of person that you would want existing in this world. I'm sorry for all those damned oppurtunities where I could have helped and didn't. I'm sorry I'm not the person you want me to be. Forgive, oh dear, forgive me. I don't know what to title this entry because it's just endless thoughts all rolled into one incredibly long sentence. With care, 5:44 p.m. - 2002-04-15 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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