ndslotesse's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Nonsense Dear Diary, I'm got home early today, instead of staying the mandatory extra hours that I spend at school. Thank God. There's so much shit (or not enough) going on. I'm so USE to being confused and in pain that when there's nothing to complain about, I get even more confused. I start making up things in my wild imagination. If there's one thing I pride myself in, it's my imagination, that and my writing, but that's besides the point. I have the craziest imagination. Either that, or people have the same crazy imagination, like I do, but they don't show it. They are too afraid they'll look stupid and stick out of the crowd. I hate it when people like that. PET PEEVE! But damn, here I go again, being a hyprocrite because I do that too sometimes. But, I'm getting better, at least I think so, I'm not caring at all what people think of me. My 8th grade revelation is taking all of me. And there's nothing I can do to stop it. *Maybe it won't be that bad. *And as for all of you don't know about my 8th grade revelation, wait until a future entry (or the next one) and see it. Too damn long to go through a thorough explanation of it. I guess the reason why I don't care anymore is because there's no reason to. I mean come on! Going to an *ALL GIRLS! THERE ARE NO GUYS! There's no reason for waking up an hour before and getting all ready for girls. So, like most girls that go to my school, just wake up, wash their face, brush their teeth, pull back their hair, and throw on their uniform! Hell that's what I do! Takes no more than 10 minutes! And as for one of my girls, she probably takes less time because she SLEEPS in her uniform! I don't care anymore, it's almost scary how much I don't care and how much I've changed from the person I last knew who I was. I mean, DAMN!, I use to be one of those gay little girls that care about looks and what people thought of me! SHIT! The only people that I heed opinions of, are the people I care or the people that I love. NO ONE ELSE! OR damn, Am I being a hyprocrite again!? Probably! Watch me contradict myself in a future entry (and for all of those people who actually read this diary *which aren't many) will contact me and let me know how I've contradicted myself. I'm not self anymore! Geeze, I don't even know me anymore. At moments I think I know, but then I always have this other thought in the back of my mind, plaguing it. I guess it's all a freaking part of growing up! Damn, that sounds cliche. And I'm not sure how I emphasized how much I despise cliche things. I can't stand them. IN MY ENTIRE LIFE, I WOULD HATE TO BE ORDINARY! That, I think, is one of the most tragic things in this world. Who like I said before, would ever want to be plain? I'm plain, I know...but I've got a twist and it's that twist, that lets me keep my humanity and sanity. To learn that one day, I was ordinary would break my heart. *As if that would matter, since I don't have one. With care, 4:58 p.m. - 2002-03-12 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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