ndslotesse's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Just Me Dear Diary, Another Late night entry. I'm dead tired but I don't want to sleep right now. I want to stay awake for as long as possible. And I hope the noise of the typing doesn't wake anyone. I don't know what to say, and that's a big suprise since I usually have something to say. Because, I don't want to souonds monotonous and repititive. I don't want all of my entries to sound the same. They are all talking about the same thing, at least that's what it sounds like to me. Me constantly talking about what I want and what I need. Blah, Blah, Blah. I always have thoughts when I'm walking down the hall. Always in the same spot at school. In the hallway downstairs, basement floor, a little bit before the Religion Room, a little after the biology room, almost right next to the Psycology room. It's always in that same spot that I get this weird or crazy idea that I want to tell you guys about. But, they always happen to excape me, especially when I try to hard. I walk alone down the halls now. It use to bother me terribly when I was in junior high *even though I still did it often then too* I know it sounds bad, but people bother me now. I cn't stand to be around too many people at once. And if I am, I don't say much. That is so opposite of me! No JOKE! ... I mean sometimes I can get back to my crazy self but they are just blurps and I quickly go back into my quiet mood, where nothing excapes my mouth. You have no idea how long I use to talk on the phone! I was on like for like 5 hours a day! Geeze. And now, whenever anyone calls me, as soon as they say hello, I say "Hello, sorry can't talk right now, busy. Ttyl. Byes." I mean always. 5 hours compared to that brief moment that last no longer than 5 seconds. Isn't that completely boogus? If I sound weird, it's probably because I usually don't have interuptions when I write here but it's a very important person I'm talking to right now! I haven't talked to him in a long time! If you are reading this, you know who you are! I want so badly to go back to who I was before. But, then I think about what I thought, and I think all over again, why the hell would I want to go back to someone who was so naive? So, maybe a combination of both. If I can do that. Since it's usually all or nothing with me, no inbetween. I just want to get someplace, where ever it is that I should be, that I should go to. I don't want to walk down the halls anymore. With care, 12:57 a.m. - 2002-04-13 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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