ndslotesse's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My Meaningless Ball of Nothing Dear Diary, Wow! My entries just keep piling on! Aren't you happy for me? 'Cause I am! At least I'm not bored, for now. :)
I don't know what to say anymore. 'Cause all I ever do now is ramble on and on about the exact same thing. I know you must get sick of it. 'Cause it is a bit pathetic.
I just don't know how to begin because I have so much to say. All I ever do is just sit and wish and hope. It's monotonous and repetitive.
Sometimes, I just want to sleep and never wake up. It use to hurt me so much I couldn't even bear it. But it's so routine now, that it doesn't even matter. I get up every day wishing it was another day, in antoerh time, and in another place. I feel so lost at times. But, I hate saying that 'cause it sounds to *damn* cliche. I hate sounding cliche, it's one of my worst pet peeves. I've been thinking about it more and more now (obviously, since I have so much time) In my entire life I strive to never be ordinary. That would just...well, in lamest terms and in a lack of a better word...suck. What could be worst that seeing another carbon copy of yourself walking down the street? I hate that. I hate being another face in the crowd. I want to be special but not different.
BUT EVERYONE WANTS THAT!!!!!!!!!!
I'm sounding cliche and I know it! I don't want to be just another teen. But there are millions of other 'teens' out there making a difference! What makes me think that I could possibily rival with them?! They have motives and drive! Something, I've been looking everywhere for! But, I'm obviously not wearing the right glasses.
Someday. Someday, I'll find my place in this forsaken/beautiful world. I hate sounding cliched but I do it every time I type. So forget it. Maybe I'm destined to just be another face in the crowd. Another faded smile. With care, 9:48 p.m. - 2002-03-09 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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